


A Will to pass on

by monrat



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shingeki no Kyojin Fusion, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Pain, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29282169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monrat/pseuds/monrat
Summary: There was no paradise within the walls for Johnny Suh.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	A Will to pass on

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Hi! Wow once again *writes angst* well whatever it sucks. Anyways, I SO SO WANTED A KENNY X URI KIND OF RELATIONSHIP SO I DID JOHNJAE IN IT AND ADDED MORE SPICE. But yes Side note, Jung = Reiss. Note, this is based of AOT. I didn't steal everything from Isayama, just tweaked some things. So if you're an nctzen and a fan of AOT i apologize for you have stumbled upon this mess. Anyways, enjoy!

Johnny can't remember what year it is, what time it was, where he was. 

Flicking the cigarette off his lips, before tossing it to the wet concrete ground as rain poured torrentially. Crushing it with the heel of his worned out leather boots, Johnny looked up to the sky and watched the gray clouds spill onto the city within Sina.

Something whizzes in the distance, just right above Johnny's head, quickly moving from building to building. It's loud and springly, agile along with the yelling passed on of orders. 

_ ah, _ Johnny clicked his tongue. _ The rebellion. _

The buzz about the scout regimen going against the government had been the Military's priority to handle at the moment, even after regaining Wall Rose once more.

The sky is an awful gray, dulling and has sucked the life out of Johnny like a parasite. He tilted his head to look up, and watched one of the green caped bastards fall off with an audible splat against the road amidst the screaming between the two associations, a bullet hole pierced through his forehead. 

Johnny watched him bleed. Where was his remorse? Where was his fear? Nothing was left in Johnny, more than scars and a gaping hole inside his chest. Johnny was a hollow man. 

"Captain," Jungwoo had joined in from behind, panting and drenched. The ODM gear creaked at every step closer towards Johnny, his soles splashing in puddles."They're heading for the barracks in Rose."

Johnny's eye twitched, that unsettling feeling growing. Annoyance."What I say about calling me captain? I'll cut your tongue off."

Jungwoo bowed with his hand over his chest; a basic gesture for respect and humility."My apologies."

The tall man scoffed as Jungwoo catches up alongside with the other Military scouts, scaling a two storey rooftop away from the lone alley.

"Yoonoh," Johnny tilted his head up and gazed at the sky, hoping for the light to shine. But nothing more than murky darkness filled that afternoon."Is this what we truly wanted?"   
  


Johnny was born a slave in the Underground, a city of rats and living filth. Johnny had come to understand that nobody was to be trusted, and everyone was doomed to live a life of misery if you had nothing to your name.

He starved on those streets, begged for pennies or spare change. Fed on garbage. A rat. An orphan in the Underground were nothing more but rats who'd die the fastest in that burning city.

Johnny watched his friends die on those streets. They'd whine and groan for food, for a bite. for water. They grasp for all they want until they stop grasping for anything at all. Starvation was a dangerous sickness to catch after all, and it plagued the city nonstop.

So when a contact within the royal family takes his hand for the first time and asks him a question crouching in front of him, "Kid, you want something to eat?"

"Yes." Johnny grasped onto that chance.  _ He had to become strong. I have to become the strongest in humanity. _

Johnny grew up to realize that humanity would soon perish within these walls, for all was foolish and all knew of bloodshed. There was no future for them; they'd all die out like a flame, whether by it be by the hands of titans or the foolishness and greed of the government.

But still, Johnny knew all of that and worked for the government. There was so much more Johnny had finally seen; how blood dripped down someone's neck was similar to the polluted streams above the Underground's passageway. How Johnny lost his sense of empathy as he watched the bleeding woman suffocate under the heel of his boot, until the life finally died out in her eyes.

Eyes. Johnny had seen so many emotions in a person's eyes. Fear. Regret. Guilt. Shock. Grief. Fear. Everytime he looked into those eyes, any emotion turned into fear in the face of death.

_ "the eyes are the windows to the soul." _

Eyes. Violet and crystal. Unwavering. Strong.

Johnny finally understood that there was always going to be someone above him. Whether it was as a child in the Underground, or as a trained assassin blooming into an adult.

"Yoonoh! Finish him off!" _ Yunho, was that the fucker's name _ ? Johnny gritted his teeth, the restricted feeling gripping tightly around Johnny's waist, as he was hoisted in the air by a hand.

Steam emitted from the body,  _ a titan body _ , as a younger figure discharged through the chest part, the disgusting sound of flesh disintegrating. The stench is unbearable, but not that was Johnny's priority right now, as he struggled to remove the strong grip of the titan hand.

Another figure next to the titan is holding a gun, cocking it with a snarl."Yoonoh! We can't let this motherfucker live another day!"

_ Ah, this is what they meant. _

Two brothers of the royal family Jung was what his intel had given him; Jung Yunho, the oldest brother among the Jung family. Settled in by a small town in Rose with a family of three children respectively. 

Johnny might've given him a quick smack across the head before slitting his throat right after. He certainly despised the way Yunho was glaring at him at the moment.

But Johnny wasn't here for him.

The other brother, the youngest one; Jung Yoonoh. Hazelnut brown hair slowly fading off into a lighter color, and ultraviolet crystal eyes were the features written. Unwavering determination and strength, as his gaze cuts through Johnny weak in the knees. 

The aura around him is authoritative, like someone blessed from the heavens. Untouchable. A god.

_ The true king of Paradis, Jung Jaehyun. That's what the government says about him. What the prophets praise about him. A bunch of shit brain pigeons. _

"You're a Suh, aren't you?"

Johnny freezed. He hasn't heard that in a long time. A growl vibrates in his chest, briskly grabbing the knife off guard and aiming it with force at Jaehyun's neck within a blink of an eye.

Jaehyun rapidly holds up his arm, meeting the knife midway as it pierced his wrist, inches between meeting his throat without hesitation.

He never falters, the intensity is resolute in his violet irises. Johnny sees his own reflection almost in them, his heart racing. Was this fear? Was this something he had yet to know?

The grip around his waist loosens, Johnny's thought train cut off abruptly as he plummeted into the field from the height. Yunho scurries cautiously closer.

"Fuck!" Johnny winced, the ache settling in on his hip as he rolled over in pain, his gloved hand grasping onto his side. 

Yunho screamed in anger, panicking."You can't take away his memories, Yoonoh! He's a Suh!"

Jaehyun caressed his hand meticulously, fiddling with the knife lodged in his wrist like it was nothing as he sauntered closer towards Johnny. For the first time, fear rings through Johnny's body like he never felt before. His heart palpitating, kicking his legs off to crawl away from the figure coming closer and closer.

Weak. Johnny was weak.

"Stay away!" Johnny screeched, breathing unstable as he frighteningly looked around for someone,something, anything that could help. The sunlight is painful and deteriorating in his eyes, dirt digging into his fingernails from clawing on the grass. 

His hands finally land on the holster attached to his waist, pulling out the gun and pointing it at Jaehyun, his hands shaking in fright.

"My family has caused you grief."

Johnny stops, chest heaving as his hold almost falters in surprise.

Jaehyun gets on his knees and bowed slowly, taking Johnny astounded. Blood dripping down his elbows."I apologize for what happened to your family. But I cannot die right now. Therefore I cannot repay you."

And his head lifts up, gaze meeting gaze. Crystal violet against sunlit brown."For what king am I, if paradise cannot be achieved within these small walls?"

Paradise.

Johnny tastes the word on his lips. A pipe dream that had Johnny loose in the knees. Lightning surging in his veins, coursing through blood. Excitement.

For the first time in Johnny's life, he understood violence was weak against an unwavering will.

"Paradise, you say?"

Jung Jaehyun was indeed… a peace making dipshit. For someone who had such high superiority and the ability of a devil, he was weak in heart. Johnny scowled at such thoughts.

What was the use of having all that power to equate into nothing? It sent Johnny plummeting into confusion and displeasure. 

He preached about love and freedom, peace to anyone that listened. Of course, Johnny meant the pigeon brained regional lords who ruled over Sina. They loved him, worshipped him. If given the chance, Johnny was sure they would kiss Jaehyun's feet.

But no matter how much Johnny hated that about Jaehyun, there was something that tied him closer towards him. Something that Johnny admired so much and held to his heart closer.

Jaehyun's will. His goal to keep the peace within the walls was enough to hold Johnny down on the ground.

Johnny can't help but admire him about it. A trait stronger in nobody else but the King himself. It's what keeps Johnny looking up for Jaehyun.

"You," Johnny scoffed incredulously, glancing at Jaehyun."What makes you think you're different from your airhead father?"

The fields outside the church are wistfully blowing, orange painting green grass like rolling windmills. The white robe framing Jaehyun's figure is soft, gentle. 

Johnny laughed in irony as he placed his ebony leather coat around Jaehyun's shoulders.

Silence grows between the wind howling and the grass grazing, before Jaehyun tilts his head, and mutters back softly."Because I was born into this world out of pain."

Johnny doesn't understand. Jaehyun takes it with a feeble smile. 

"Can you read?" 

"Wha— do you think i'm some sort of idiot?" Johnny growled, clearly offended. Jaehyun giggled lightly, pulling out a piece of jagged along the lines paper and handing it to him.

Jaehyun hummed."Read it for me then."

Clearing his throat, with still a provoked glint in his eyes flickering. 

"Addressed to King Yoonoh,

Your humble presence is requested to the Capitol Church of Mitras and so forth…."

As what the saying had gone on; anything within Sina is made from gold and blood.

It was rich, men and women from high bloodlines flocking around like fools. Roads built on the smoothest stones Johnny had never felt under his boots. Fountains sculpted from marble, the crowd giggling as Military roamed around the streets.

Johnny hated Mitras. For this city basked in wealth and ignorance, as the cities outside died in starvation and famine.

And seemingly, Jaehyun hated it too, despite being loved by the people who resided here.

"What?" Johnny arched his eyebrow at the latter, seated across him from the carriage."If you're gonna puke, do it when we get there."

"I'm not." Jaehyun clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction. He doesn't look at Johnny, but stares out the window with this sullen gaze."It's not that."

"You said that last time."

Jaehyun frowned, clearly taken aback that Johnny still remembered."Did not!"

"Uh-huh, save it your highness."

To Johnny, Jaehyun was a child. Not innocent. More likely naive. He let himself be giddied around by the politicians and lords, treated like some sort of eye candy they could pass around. It sent rage surging in Johnny's veins.

Jaehyun was raised away from Sina, after all. How would he know? The way watching eyes observed every movement, approached with every wrong intent.

To Johnny, Jaehyun was the prey walking into their traps seamlessly.

The church once again, is silent when no one is around. The night sky gleaming through the higher windows, the flags of the three titan walls hung on each partition. Decorated in gold, it made Johnny's skin itch.

Jaehyun is sitting on the red carpeted steps of the podium, the throne behind him with a red plush robe hanging off the seat. The roof is painted sky blue and gray, the stars hanging off glossy pillars.

Johnny sighed, standing in front of Jaehyun."It's time to head home, your highness."

Jaehyun doesn't respond, staring off into the space, empty.

"Your highness—"

"Johnny," He called out."Do I have to do this?"

The latter tilted his head, confused at his words."Do what, your highness?"

"Create the better world within these walls." Jaehyun seemed tired of something that clenched Johnny's heart once more."Why do I have to do it? Is everything I am built on to maintain paradise?"

"Paradise?" Johnny scoffed sarcastically."Nothing within these walls is paradise."

"Children starve and die as these pricks fill their bellies like the shit faced garbage they are," Johnny spat, all his years of anger resurfacing back like an open wound. Friends, his mother dying of untreated illness in that tiny room. Burning."If this was paradise, then I'd rather rot in hell your highness. Nothing in this world is paradise."

Silence echoed right after, Johnny hasn't realized he's been seething the whole time on every word.

"You believed it though." 

Johnny's narrowed gaze slowly dissipated. Jaehyun still had that warm smile, still gaze."You took my words even if you knew it was a lie."

Heaving. Inhale. Exhale. Johnny hated that he was right. Johnny hated that brassy gold crown sitting on Jaehyun's head like a status symbol. It didn't match Jaehyun's eyes.

So he grabbed the crown, placing it on his own head and puffed out his chest, saying in a mocking tone."Oh look at me! I'm King Yoonoh! I may talk about eternal love and freedom, but I'm actually a two faced bastard who stole someone's sheep once and sleeps with my eyes open!"

"Hey!" Jaehyun protested, grumbling as he equally took Johnny's hat, too big for his head and mimicked the latter as possible."I'm Johnny the Ripper! I've slit a hundred throats of the Military police, but I actually don't shower unless the foot fungus is kicking back again!"

"I don't have foot fungus!" Johnny flamed red in embarrassment."Nor do I skip showering!"

And they chortle in joy about their own foolishness. Laughs bouncing off marble as Johnny crouches on the steps, clutching at his stomach. Jaehyun's wiping a tear from the corner of his eyelids.

Eyes. Johnny catches the moonlight grazing Jaehyun's violet irises. And everything gets lodged in his throat, something unable to get out. It's breathtaking, the way they curve and the blue light glints in them. Jaehyun's eyes reminded him of the stars in the night sky the first time he left the Underground.

Johnny wished he could see his own eyes so he could tell what emotion was burning in him right now.

  
  


"Your highness."

Steam is pouring out of the titan body, several corpses surrounded the trees half gnawed and chewed off. Bloody, nothing more than a bloody wasteland.

Johnny heaves a sigh, climbing onto the back as Jaehyun discharged, limbs weak and exhaustion seeping in his bones. The smell of burning flesh is something he's used to by now.

"Your highness."

"Hm." Jaehyun weakly hummed, the flesh under his eyes streaked and burning, as he responded on the verge of unconsciousness. 

Johnny crouched, caressing a hand over Jaehyun's head. Lilac pink. Over the years, the hazelnut brown had turned into the shade of flowers that Johnny despised. He's reminded of the ironic reality; Jaehyun was still a monster who shedded blood for the sake of a pipe dream.

"Let's go home, your highness."

  
  


"Hyung!" 

Johnny never understood the way Jung's worked; all children seemed to be loved dearly in the family until he met Sungchan, Yunho's youngest child.

For four consecutive years, Jaehyun had been visiting Jung Sungchan off a farm inside Sina, miles away from the Jung chapel. It's closed off to any contact, and only a child and a caretaker live in it. He never understood that part yet. Maybe in the future he would.

"Hyung! Are you going to read me a book?" Sungchan was tall for a five year old, bouncing happily with his hair flopping around, which reminded Johnny of a mutt. Jaehyun patted his head, rendering Sungchan to calm down.

_ Yeah, a mutt indeed. _

Sungchan turns around, seeing Johnny once again, and visibly brightens even more."Mr. Johnny's here!" 

"I'm always here, what ya mean?" Johnny jeered, shoving his hands inside his pocket, grouching almost with a sinister smile. Jaehyun smacked the back of his head.

Johnny rubbed the back of his head with a snicker."Your highness seems to be becoming more violent by the day."

Jaehyun offered a silent glare, before Sungchan sat in between them on the grass meadow. He leaned back into them, chewing on bread as Jaehyun opened the same old book he's been reading to Sungchan for four years. 

It's almost like watching a loop, over and over again. Johnny memorized every word, every reaction Sungchan had for another page.

"a vast land filled with ice and snow," Johnny mumbled to himself." _ oh that's so cool, hyung! I wanna see the outside world!" _

"Oh that's so cool, hyung!" Sungchan gasped, wonderfully taking in the illustration of the book."I wanna see the outside world!"

" _ then maybe I could live with you hyung—" _

"Then maybe… I could live with you hyung!"

Johnny observed grimly in return to Jaehyun's crestfallen smile. The sun had set. Winds blowing through the yellow wheat fields like golden oceans touched. 

"the sun's already down? Aw.." Sungchan deflated, closing the book as Jaehyun stood up and brushed the stray grass off the boy's pants.

Jaehyun as usual, feebly smiled."I'll come visit you again, okay?"

"Okay!" 

This was the final part of the sequence; the hardest part for Jaehyun.

"Goodbye, Sungchan." 

Jaehyun's hand pats his curly locks lightly, the wind gusting by. The sunlight reflects off Sungchan's eyes, glowing for a split second until they return to their normal ones. Sungchan is expressionless almost. It restarts.

Johnny truly realized he served a God when he remembered watching Jaehyun erase Sungchan's memory of him for the first time. It soon went over and over till Sungchan had the same words to say, then forget them.

"It's the power of the titan I hold." Jaehyun glanced at the window, seeing Sungchan watch the carriage leave with curious eyes."It's never worked on Suhs though."

"Yeah," Johnny muttered."I know."

"say…" the latter hummed at his words."Would you have erased my memory if I wasn't one that day we met?"

Jaehyun tilted his head before shooting him a soft gaze."I'm pretty sure I wouldn't either way, Johnny."

It takes Johnny four years for him to realize that this feeling that grew day by day, was because of his highness.

And it all came aflame when Jaehyun mumbled about how the weather was shitty today and Johnny pressed his lips against his.

Still. Johnny's heart is racing rapidly, he's about to die maybe. He doesn't know nor does he care. All that mattered was the four second silence before Jaehyun melts into his arms and holds him close. 

Warm. 

"Your majesty."Jaehyun groaned, Johnny's tongue setting a path ablaze onto his pale throat, deep vibrations filled with so much care and adoration. Electricity.

No."Jaehyun, God.. Jaehyun." Johnny moaned out, feeling Jaehyun writhe under him, pressed together in the sheets. His calloused fingers grazed the underside of Jaehyun's scapula, as Jaehyun's hands grasped onto Johnny's hair half lidded.

"Youngho," Jaehyun says softly, eyes teary as he bites his lip unsure."Can you hold my hand?"

Johnny gazed down, Jaehyun's legs wrapped around him as both their chests heaved up and down.  _ He's nervous. He always does that when he's nervous. _

"tsk." Johnny snickered, before his finger intertwined with Jaehyun's right after. He leaned in closer to the latter's face, their breaths dancing together through the heat. Johnny teased."Aren't you quite the baby?"

"Oh shut up, you prick."

To maybe piss Jaehyun off, Johnny thrusts abruptly into the latter and a string of stuttered whines escapes his lips. It's cocky, drawling. Johnny loved it so much. The feeling of his dearest majesty close to him. He wants it all.

"Youngho," Jaehyun whispered, arms wrapped around him and holding onto Johnny with every might he had."I love you."

Johnny wants to respond. Wanted to scream. But he can't, so he clutched onto Jaehyun a little bit tighter. Just to remind himself, that right now this was real. Jaehyun was with him. 

He wants to say it. Johnny can't.

The night dies and the sun lives once more. 

Jaehyun shuffled into his chest, warm and hot breath against him. Johnny shushes him, slowly stroking his lilac hair with adoration. Both of them entangled in the white silk sheets, glorious red hanging from the bed frame. 

"Go back to sleep, Jae." Johnny nuzzled his nose against the top of Jaehyun's head, earning a happy purr from the latter. 

It's oddly domestic somehow, feeling some sort of familiarity to its tones. Johnny feels like he's been doing it for years. And he knows he wants to keep having this forever. Where Johnny knows nothing about himself but a man who used to bleed.

For the first time, Johnny wakes up warm and full of fuzzy feelings. Jaehyun leaned in to kiss him gently with a giggle.

Johnny had wasted time so preciously, he forgot the reality that snapped right back when needed.

"You're a god that bleeds," Johnny shuffled closer on the bench. Jaehyun subconsciously rubs his thumb over the white cast wrapped around his arm reaching until his shoulder."It's disappointing, your majesty."

"I told you to stop calling me that," Jaehyun scolded with a click of his tongue, knowing Johnny was here to pester him once more.

The lake a walk away from the Jung chapel is lilac violet and dull blue, ashy clouds and fog surrounding it. The sky is a blurry phase, the cold light of the sun streaking onto each ripple of the tide. This was Jaehyun's home.

Jaehyun breaks the silence."Why'd you stick around, Johnny? All these years…"

If anyone else asked Johnny, he'd shrug and brush it off as a means of power. To serve the higher being is to become one. Johnny was thirsty for authority; to stand the highest for once.

But Jaehyun was asking this. No, it was not the means of blood thirsty power. It was so much more.

"Because of you, Jaehyun." Johnny sighed, slumping onto the bench. He couldn't tell if it was morning or afternoon due to how cloudy the sky was.

"Me?"

"Because I admire everything about you; your personality, your dedication. The way you hold everything in this world close to you, and how you adore everything within the walls."

Johnny could recall that feeling of awe, the way Jaehyun moved people with his premonition and judgment; the crowd belonged to Jaehyun and Johnny understood why.

He was goddamn good at being a king.

"and…." Johnny trailed off."Your eyes. I like your eyes a lot. They're pretty, don'tcha think?"

_ And because I have loved you for so long, I want to keep staying beside you. _

Jaehyun flushed at his words, but had this guilty look in his eyes Johnny almost missed if he looked away for a split second.  _ Why? _

Jaehyun had this sullen gaze, eyes exhausted and flickering back and forth. 

"What's wrong?"

"This will of mine. It doesn't belong to me, Johnny."

Johnny couldn't quite catch that.  _ What? _ "Sorry?"

"It's a curse, Johnny. I preach about peace and love within these walls because it's a curse in my blood Johnny. I was born to encage people in this world." Jaehyun's tone rises, unstable."This will is not mine, it's the will of my ancestors. I don't have a will."

Jaehyun grabbed Johnny's hands forcibly, looking him dead straight into the eyes."These eyes are not mine. Everything you stayed for is the same thing the future generations will have. These eyes you admire…. They'll belong to the next inheritor in two months."

"Nothing belongs to me Johnny. This pains me because you stayed for something that never was from me, and I'll die knowing that for now."

The atmosphere is silent, fog encircling the area of the lake. Only the flock of birds and the flapping of wings ring throughout echoing. 

"This power of mine is to be passed on soon. If the sickness doesn't kill me first, the curse will."

"Will you miss me then, Johnny?" Jaehyun asked solemnly. The wind blows, locks of flowers fluttering in the air."When you'll see the same things I had in another person?"

Johnny screamed inside,  _ yes. Of course I will. None of this matters. I love you even if you have nothing. Because you deserved so much more, Jaehyun.  _

But Johnny is a fool. 

"I won't." he lies.

Jaehyun chuckled lightly instead in the visible hurt that flashes in his eyes, his head leaning against Johnny's shoulder softly. Johnny feels his light hair brush against the underside of his jaw. 

"If I were to be reborn again," Jaehyun sighed, looking up at Johnny. Johnny's heart stills.

For the first time, Johnny has seen someone look at him with adoration, even in the face of death. It's different. It's everything Johnny hoped for. 

Johnny was a fool.

"I'd want to be with you again." 

This time, it's Jaehyun who leaned in to capture his lips away that afternoon.

  
  


Johnny understood that Jaehyun was a sick pathetic liar who weaved his feelings and snapped them apart, shattering his world like a million tiny pieces that knew nothing of what came to him.

"The ceremony is in two months," He said."You'll catch it when you get back from your trip." He said. He said that to Johnny. He lied to Johnny with such ease to hold his feelings like that.

Two months was nothing incomparable to the pain Johnny felt when he returned. Johnny seethed in so much hurt. Betrayal. Anger.

Two months meant two days.

The day Johnny set out to Wall Maria was the day of the ceremony. Jaehyun lied to him just so he could see him go in peace, smiling at him when Johnny didn't know that was the last time he would be seeing him.

Johnny returns to find nothing left of Jaehyun. No body left to mourn for. No belongings. Nothing. Jaehyun was the king of the walls until the last daylight of his life and the world pretended to forget him because that was the cycle.

Jaehyun waved at him, grinning from ear to ear."Have a safe trip, Youngho!"

Johnny feels the pain burn deep into his bones, and he screams until there was nothing left to scream for. _ Liar. You fucking liar. How could you? _

Jaehyun's eyes are crinkling beautifully in his memory. Dimples on the sides of his cheeks soft.  _ How could you?! _

Jaehyun whispers into Johnny's ear about something he'd never forget. Jaehyun pressed a fleeting kiss onto his lips before Johnny got into the carriage with a smug smile.

_ How could you do this to me, Yoonoh?  _

The world never mourned for a God that falls.

But Jaehyun wasn't a god. He wasn't the prideful column that held humanity up. He wasn't forever eternal, therefore Sina let him go just like that.

Jaehyun was Johnny's highness. Jaehyun was sweet and loving, at the same time selfless of anything. Jaehyun loved the world that didn't love him back. Jaehyun loved Johnny who never knew how to tell him those three words back. Jaehyun was Johnny's and hadn't realized it until it slipped between his fingers like ash.

Johnny's knees buckle, a choked sob escaping his lips as he sees the crown before him. Jaehyun's crown, encased in glass like a memory. The crown that sat on top of his lovely sunlight locks.  _ Jaehyun. _

He hears his soft humming, his annoying banter. Jaehyun's voice is a ghost floating around in Johnny's mind.

There was no more of Jaehyun left in this world.

And Johnny understood that violence was weak against love.

"If I were to be reborn in this world…" Johnny clutched onto his chest, bowing over to the crown stained with blood. Something had been ripped out of Johnny's chest.

He looks up and sees Jaehyun's soft and adoring gaze once more. Johnny loved the moonlight.

"I would've loved you a bit longer."

The moon dies for the sun to live again.

Johnny feels nothing when he sees Yunho's daughter. Sooyeon with crystal eyes and the love to create paradise within the walls. She preached about freedom and love to anyone that listened. Sooyeon believed deeply in the ability to create paradise within the walls.

"For what ruler am I, if paradise cannot be achieved within these walls?" Sooyeon had an unwavering gaze, the crowd in awe of her. The people are moved by her words.

Jaehyun was right maybe. The will to protect was never his. 

But he was wrong about one thing. 

Sooyeon's eyes were blue, cold like striking ice. Crystal blue weaved into irises. They flashed like fire and burned into the images of Sina. 

Jaehyun's eyes always belonged to him. The gentle and fond violet, gleaming underneath moonlight like a star. A dying star.

_ "Johnny," Jaehyun whispered into his ear that night of the trip."Maybe I do have a will." _

_ "And what is that?" _

_ Jaehyun's eyes crinkled, a smile."To love you again as equals when I am reborn. _


End file.
